I did the makeup in this picture when I first started doing makeup. I never developed a passion for it but this picture reminds me of how playful we were together and how I made her laugh with my silly antics. This is my way of saying goodbye to her because I couldn't fly home for the funeral. I have so many good memories of her. I know from pictures, my memory and what my parents told me that I was her shining star. My birth brought joy to her life when she needed it most. My Grandfather died one year before I was born and she was devastated.
My earliest memory is clouded with tears. I remember saying goodbye and crying, "No Gummi don't leave! Gummi stay!". I remember my Dad driving her down the road past the farm until all hope was lost that she would stay. I loved her so much. I'm crying now too. Gummi, I'm sorry I didn't see you more when you were in the nursing home. I was busy, like we all are and it was hard. I guess I knew that Dad and Uncle Charles came to see you every week so I knew you weren't alone. Still, I wish I had tried harder.
I want to say thanks for all the amazing food you cooked for me. OMG! you were always making sauce and freezing it. The frigidaire, as you would say, was always filled with frozen meatballs and sauce. The taste still lingers on my tongue. My favorite memories are staying at your house in Mineola and eating dinner with you. Waffles with whipped cream and eggs in the morning still make me feel warm. You always knew how to make me feel good through a meal. I thought you were the most amazing cook. I can't even come close to your sauce, its so funny. It seems the ingredients were so simple but because you made it it was something special.
You truly loved me. Even when I was in my bad stage, you forgave me and nothing ever changed between us. You weren't perfect and I never understood why you didn't like my Mother. She is an amazing Mom. I hope you can see that now. I never held it against you though. I love you both so much.
I always saw a sparkle in your eye whenever our eyes met. You were always so happy to see me. I will keep the memories of you forever here in my mind and heart. I imagine you somewhere so peaceful and you are smiling. Love radiates all around you and you feel at home. Your mind is at rest and your spirit is free. Whatever this life holds for me I hope one day to see you again and embrace. I love you Gummi.
I dedicate Song for Mama by Boyz II Men to you. Your love was not only food to my stomach but also my soul.
